Have you ever looked in the mirror to reflect 
Your age
And noticed that cellulite and wrinkles have taken centre stage?
It's then you wonder to yourself
How old should I be?
What sort of a body is this to be given me?

Have you noticed the hair upon your head Is starting to thin out
When the roots underneath are turning White and suddenly beginning to sprout?
It's then you wonder to yourself 
Am I really OK?
Why not have a wig when prematurely grey?

Have you ever been to the dentist and while
Lying in the chair
He's fitting you with a crown 
And you gaze up his nose in despair?
It's then you wonder to yourself 
This guy's a nice enough chap.
But I only wish he'd finish off
Bridging that gap.

Have you ever been to the doctor to get a Jab for the flu
And asked him time and time again
Can I make love to you?
It's then you wonder to yourself 
If my senility's on par.
Why not have a man aswell 
When I have a crush on my car?

Have you ever had a Garam or Tika Masala
From an Indian takeaway 
Not realising the affects it has on you
For many a day?
It's then you wonder to yourself 
If this stuff is going to keep on passing Through.
How much longer must I spend VINDALOO?