Now they have
Quick Snack Spots
on the lake
in the neat Home Counties park

Bread-free areas for waterfowl –
grain only on the menu
[which can be purchased
in handy bags nearby]

A kind of Duck Macdonalds.

Mothers with buggies and toddlers
Pass them by
much preferring to distribute
half loaves of Asda wholegrain
or thick sliced white – its great for toasting –
as if dispensing nourishment to the needy.
The ducks, likewise, were voting
with their webbed feet
preferring to pig out on couch potato fodder
rather than another slimmers fad.

So it was empty when I passed,
this eco-friendly duck-food parlour.
Just a lone coot,
balancing on the notice,
holding a placard reading:
Don’t let them exploit us.

Peter Yates is a playwright who has his own Theatre Company Random Cactus. He works with various charities and is a Theatre Critic at London Theatre 1.