Mr and Mrs Feather-my-nest,
Mr and Mrs Thumb-in-all-pies,
they skim off the cream,
tax-avoiders supreme,
promoting some scheme,
they scam along with the best,
prying and spying like a pair of houseflies.

Mr and Mrs Put-on-the-style,
Mr and Mrs Models-of-culture;
she, charming and wily,
flirts with money-men shyly,
husband watches slyly,
till she closes the deal with a smile
but her eyes have the gleam of a vulture.

Mr and Mrs Tan-from-Bermuda,
Mr and Mrs Nobody’s-fool,
photos of her in a sari
videos of him on safari,
in Italy drinking Campari,
returning at last to their Tudor
cottage in Wiltshire or their villa in Poole.

Mr and Mrs Whiter-than-white,
Mr and Mrs Kiss-my-hem,
too cautious for crime
but if it helps them to climb,
they’ll live with the loss of a principle;
for theirs is the right
to be rich and invincible
while ours is the right to admire them.

Derek Sellen‘s work has appeared in various anthologies and magazines and won awards. His radio play, The Naming of the Animals, a sitcom set in Eden, won at the Wirral Festival.