Healthy

Cake for breakfast is never a sin;
Those in the know, know it’s the only way to begin.
Drugs, guns, smoking, pornography, copious gin
Are the definition of real, unforgivable morning sins.
Those in the know, know it’s the only way to begin;
Cake for breakfast is never a sin.
Whether it’s pre-meditated or on a whim;
Cake is the only way for a day to begin.

The Bad Poet

I used to want to be a poet,
I’d write about important stuff,
about life & death & chocolate cake,
I used to want to be a poet.
I’d write about important stuff,
I’d be a beardy old man with a pen
writing about important things.
I used to be want to be a poet,
I just can’t write the bloody stuff.

The Problem of the Washing Up

Stacked high in the sink,
greasy eyesores that make you think

‘Who’s going to wash the dishes?’
Pots, pans, cutlery and of course

the dirty, manky dishes.
It keeps you awake at night

and goes against all your wishes
‘Who’s going to wash the dishes?’

A question that’s plagued man
since the dawn of time

‘Who’s going to wash the dishes?’
Saying it’s someone else’s turn

certainly won’t ever, ever fix it.
Aristotle, Plato, Friedrich Nietzsche

all wanted to know
‘Who’s going to wash the dishes?’

Bio: Daniel Ryan writes hilarious comic verse and the world is oblivious.